I Hope You Die
by Evangeline Dixon
Summary: Carol and Daryl are in a horrific car crash with deadly consequences. Caryl songfic to Wye Oak - I Hope You Die/ Heartbeats - Jose Gonzalez/ I Won't See You Tonight - Avenged Sevenfold. Please don't hurt me for being so dark
1. I Hope You Die

_In the belly of the crowd,_  
_I was released,_  
_you were released_

The car spiraled out of control, Daryl gripped the steering wheel but couldn't stop the veering car. Carol's screams rang loud in his ear as the car crashed and they both flew forward.

_Was it deafeningly loud?_  
_Or was it peace,_  
_Sweet peace_

He couldn't hear her scream now, time slowed down as they both struck the wind shield, it shattered violently, falling on his arm and onto the floor with a sickening crunch. He could hear the car running as debris fell around the two bodies.

_All the streets,_  
_All filled with sound,_  
_Because it's right,_  
_It's for the best_

Daryl's head swam, they were exposed, the dead crawling round them, soon to be devoured. He could hear the moans coming closer as he scrambled to Carol, blood trailing from the shrapnel in her head. He checked her pulse frantically, a slow, beating, thump. He lifted her over his shoulder, screaming loudly as the pain shot through his arm, feeling as if it was being ripped from his shoulder. She was a heavy, dead weight and after two steps he stumbled and dropped her, the car flamed viciously and he pulled out his revolver to blow out the brains of two Walkers. He picked her back up, the gun in his broken arm pulling it right down, limply, and started the journey back to the prison.

_Still I sense,_  
_Their judgement now,_  
_Sweet as friends,_  
_Just friends_

"We just don't know," Hershel breathed as Carol lay on the bed. She was probably dying. The shrapnel would be impossible to move without killing her, it was so deeply embedded in her head.  
It was all his fault, he had taken her out into town. He knew, although they wouldn't admit it, that they blamed him. Maggie cried by her bedside daily and nightly, not allowing Glen to move her even for meals.

_I can't sleep until I see you sleeping,_  
_Curse my mind and its all seeing eye,_  
_Watch the line and wonder if you're breathing,_  
_Against your will you are alive_

Daryl wouldn't leave either, constantly asking Hershel questions but he knew it was futile.  
"Daryl, she's sleeping" Hershel had told him calmly.  
This angered him more.  
"That girl ain't sleeping, she's lyin' unconscious!" Daryl had screamed, lowering his voice as he spared a glance at Carol, he was sure she could hear him.  
"And the chances are, that's how she'll stay!" Hershel shouted, his face growing red with frustration.  
"What?" Daryl asked, dreading the answer.  
"If, IF, she woke up, the chances are she would remember nothing." Hershel sighed  
Daryl was stunned into silence and Hershel took his leave. Tentatively Daryl stepped towards the bed, taking Carol's tiny hand in his.  
"If you think, of this at all." He breathed. "Remember me. Just me."  
Slowly taking paces backward until he was against the wall, he slid down and buried his head in his hands.

_I can't wake until I see you waking,_  
_Watching as the scars fall from your eyes,_  
_To a world that you may not remember._

There was no one who could move Daryl those next few days, only when Hershel came to check on her did he ever leave her side. Watching for the day she opened her eyes and smiled at him. It had to be someday soon, someday she was going to wake up and look at him and say "Daryl," she'd say his name and remember who he was and he wouldn't have to deal with any of this shit.

Hershel couldn't prepare himself for what he was going to have to tell Daryl, he was about to shatter everything that mattered to the man and nothing could prepare him for that.

"Daryl," Hershel watched as the first thing Daryl did was turn towards Carol's bed and look at her, slowly realising she was still in her deep sleep he turned back towards Hershel.

"I've got news," Daryl's face looked up elated as he stood up from his chair, facing Hershel.

"What is it? What is it?" Daryl pined for the information, but the next words Hershel spoke ripped the wind out of him.

"Maybe you should sit down," Daryl didn't want to sit down, he wasn't ready to give up on Carol, on the coma. They could bring her back, make her remember.

"Carol's infected," Daryl sank down into the chair before he could even process the information. Hershel tried to make it better "We're still trying, we'll make sure she lasts as long as she can,"

Hershel lifted Carol's filthy tank top to reveal a tiny hair line scratch, it oozed pus and blood even though the accident was days ago.

Daryl's knuckles were white from gripping the back of his chair, make her last as long as possible? Even if she woke up, even if she ever woke up and remembered the group, Daryl, the accident. She would be dead again in a matter of moments, to kill someone, to tear someone apart. This was no way to live.

"That's no way to live Hershel, we can't do that," Daryl growled, lowly. He wasn't going to let her suffer like that, she would never be herself again and everyone was trying to drag out her long and inevitable death.

"It's the groups, decision," Hershel bowed his head as Daryl kicked the chair and fell to his knee's in front of Carols bed.

"Get out," Hershel understood the request and left the room.

Daryl sat on the floor, his arms drawn across her middle, his head on her stomach. He wouldn't cry.

He would never see her smile again, he would never hear her voice again, he would hear her wake. He would see her wake up and want to hold her and never let go, but at that point, she would growl. Low and primal as she launched at his throat. He remembered the pact, what they all agreed they should do if someone got bitten. Somehow, her coma made everyone's minds warped. It wasn't going to be like that for her though. He couldn't let that happen for her. Daryl lifted the gun from his mud splattered jeans and laid it on the bed, next to her slow breathing body. He leaned forward, cautiously and quickly, he darted in and kissed her clammy forehead, noticing the pallid skin of her face as she grew sicker. He raised the gun, wiping tears away from his eyes that refused to spill.

_I hope you die,_

_I hope you die._

"I'm sorry, Carol," The shot brought the group running and sent them into hysteria but Daryl kept looking at Carol's lifeless body as people grabbed him by the shoulders, shook him violently. He sat there, blocking out the screaming,finally he stood. Slowly, languidly he stood, the gun clattering emptily to the floor.

And then Daryl exited the room.

_I hope you die,_

_I hope you die._


	2. Heartbeats

_One night to be confused,_

_One night to speed up truth,_

_We had a promise made,_

_Four hands and then away,_

_Both under influence,_

_We had a divine sense,_

_To know what to say,_

_Mind is a razor blade,_

"Do something," Beth screamed, her hands already sticky with blood, "Do something,"

Glen picked up Beth and lifted her out the room, kicking and scratching him as she screamed.

"We should move the body," Rick mumbled into his hand, "No one needs to see her,"

Maggie sniffled but held her composure as she took a spare sheet and drew it over Carol's lifeless body. The sheet rapidly changed red with the blood. "Oh god, oh god," Maggie stumbled backwards and began to cry, her hands violently shaking.

Carol was everyone's mother, everyone's family, everyone's friend. Losing her was going to send everyone spiraling downwards, broken moral, broken hearts.

_One night of magic rush,_

_The start a simple touch,_

_One night to push and scream,_

_And then relief,_

_Ten days of perfect tunes,_

_The colors red and blue,_

_We had a promise made,_

_We were in love,_

Daryl Dixon walked across the prison yard, strutting down the winding passage ways until he got to where the grass sprawled across the ground until it hit the woods. Past that was another gate where the walkers congregated.

He slumped against the ground, falling to the floor and punching the compact ground repeatedly with his curled up fist until the knuckles split. He stuck the knuckle in his mouth to staunch the bleeding. Suddenly everything on his person itched, his arms and legs and feet, burning. Frantically he hurled his crossbow using his arms outstretched, it crashed to the ground as pieces flew off in every direction. The itching persisted still. Frantically Daryl tore at his buttoned up plaid shirt, ripping off the buttons and exposing his chest, he didn't care how freezing it was, how the hairs stood up on his arms. He un-did his belt and yanked it off, catching himself with it in the process, he didn't even feel the familiar sting of the belt as he pulled off a hunting boot and flung it away from him. He stopped, abruptly, breathing heavily as he realized what he was doing.

It was all his fault, he had been driving too fast. It didn't seen like limits applied in a time like that. So he ignored them, finding himself pushing ninety as he raced back to the prison, Carol in tow. All it took was a rock, a jump in the road and the car was turning out of control.

He should have tod her more, that he loved her. He had known, he had known well before she had. And yet he didn't tell her, couldn't tell her. He never told her that he cared about her more than anyone in the world. That she was beautiful. Or that she would be the perfect mother to his child.

And he never would.

_To call for hands from above,_

_To lean on,_

_Wouldn't be good enough,_

_For me, no._

He sat, a destroyed crossbow and one shoe on. A group he wasn't a part of and a beautiful dead girl.

Daryl rested his head on his knees and began screaming.

The rest of the group watched on, numb, as Daryl stood. Walking up to the remains of his crossbow he kicked the intact mechanism to pieces with his boot clad foot. Sending shards of it in all directions as he carried on screaming.

"No! Not you, It was never meant to fucking be you," He screamed to the sky, finally falling to the floor when he had no tears, no words, nothing to destroy, nothing to lean on.

He stayed like that and just didn't move.

"What do you think's going to happen?" Maggie asked a saddened Glen.

"He lost the only thing that kept him grounded," Rick answer, unlocking a gate "He'll go back to being a less racist version of his brother,"

After a while, everyone drifted back inside. Everyone but Daryl, he sat and watched the sun make its slow descent behind the tree's.

Rick left a blanket round his shoulders before walking away, Rick knew no one was going to move him. No one.

Rick took one last look at Daryl, taking in his blank expression and hunched shoulders,. Finally staring at Daryl's cupped hands which he was staring into intently.

In the middle of Daryl's dirt covered, calloused hands, was a small, white, Cherokee Rose.

"Best get ready for a hell of a lot of these to start growin'" Daryl muttered.

Rick stared at Daryl for a while, before nodding to the back of his head and making his way back to the prison. Leaving Daryl to his first night truly alone.

_To call for hands from above,_

_To lean on,_

_Wouldn't be good enough,_

_For me, no._


	3. I Won't See You Tonight

**Triggers below! Sorry for this everyone, but just couldn't see a happy way to end this. EXTREMELY DARK FIC MWHAHAHAHAH**

**I love Caryl really guys.**

* * *

_Cry alone, I've gone away_  
_No more nights, no more pain_  
_I've gone alone, took all my strength_  
_I've made the change,_  
_I won't see you tonight_

He just didn't care anymore, he didn't cry, he sat with the gun in his hands. He felt the intimidating bite of the cold steel on his hands but he didn't care. He bit back. He wouldn't see her tonight, or tomorrow or ever again.

_Sorrow sank deep inside my blood _  
_All the ones around me_  
_I cared for and most of all I loved_  
_But I can't see myself that way_  
_Please don't forget me or cry while I'm away_

No one would cry, they would go on, they had lost enough people to know how to deal with it. He thought about going to say goodbye, he thought about writing a letter, but he just didn't feel like it.

_Cry alone, I've gone away_  
_No more nights, no more pain_  
_I've gone alone, took all my strength_  
_I've made the change,_  
_I won't see you tonight_

He lifted the gun to his temple. Staring at a dark spot on the wall, a wall she had leaned against so many times, so many opportunities to kiss her, to hold her, to be with her, chances he never took.

He had loved her.

He knocked off the safety and his finger relaxed against the trigger.

"Good bye," He drawled slowly, trying to sound civil, for her. "I love you,"

And with that, Daryl Dixon killed himself.


End file.
